Living In Oregon by Jeff Foxworthy...If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Oregon. If you've worn shorts, sandals, and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Oregon. If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon. If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon. If you have switched from Heat to A/C and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon. If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon. If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a ragin blizzard without flinching you live in Central, Souther, Or Eastern Oregon. If you design your kids' Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in oregon. If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, You live in Oregon. If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon. If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon. If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Oregon. If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "walk" signal, you live in Oregon. If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently errupted, it's not a real mountain you live in Oregon. If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Dutch Bros you live in Oregon. If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye Salmon you live in Oregon. If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Clatskanie, Issaquah, Oregon, Umpqua, Yakima, and Willamette, you live in Oregon. If you consider swimming an indoor sport you live in Oregon. If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling you live in Oregon. If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Thai food, you live in Oregon. If you never go camping w/out waterproof matches and a poncho you live in Oregon. If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Oregon. If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourist, you live in Oregon. If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find your old ones after such a long time, you live in Oregon. If you actually understand these jokes you live or have lived in oregon.